why do i volunteer to go to workshops in the summer? i have spent most of the day wishing i’d just said no. or just said nothing would be more accurate. arghhh. now i have to sit in what will probably amount to being teacher detention tomorrow from 9-3. crap.
and i don’t learn, either. a little while ago i checked my school email. there was a message from our principal asking for volunteers to…yes, attend a two day workshop in august. i’d like to say i know myself too well, and did not respond, but of course i did. i want to learn these things. i just don’t want to be a captive, and that’s how i feel when i’m there. there is always the chance she got enough responses and won’t need me to go. we’ll see how that one plays out.
another thing i do, though i know i shouldn’t: freaking starbucks. i seem to be incapable of leaving the house without driving on through. wouldn’t it be more of a treat if i limited myself to once a week, or as a reward for grocery shopping or something? yeah. that ain’t happening.
and finally, the most self-annoying thing is how i appear to be simply incapable of looking someone in the eye when they bug me. case in point: the roofer lady. she isn’t technically the roofer. she is the wife/secretary/whatever. but oh lawdy, is she a pain! i had to deal with her twice on the phone yesterday. i thought that was bad. at least i didn’t have to LOOK at her. but later d and i went to the house and she was there. yikes! she looks even worse than she sounds, and that’s pretty bad. she would NOT leave me alone. she followed me around the yard, seemingly oblivious to my lack of response and lack of eye contact. she is having issues with our main…howyousay?…builder guy.
walking around the shell that was our home is emotional enough. seeing the yard, the flowers, the pool…it makes me cry every time. the last thing i wanted was her big ass bitching in my ear. she did seem to get the idea after her 25 repitions of the same song and dance yielded silence from d and me. she then changed to complimenting my tan and trying to engage me in conversation about our isla trip.
i found myself wishing i was one of those people who could just be nice. just answer the questions and maybe even nod sympathetically now and then. i can’t do it. maybe that’s not true. i WON’T do it. i ignored her like she didn’t even exist. i think that might be worse then being phony.
so i know i’m doing these things, yet i feel powerless to stop. that, too, isn’t quite true. i choose not to stop. seriously. do we not have enough going on without the drama, real or imagined of the roofer’s wife?
then some wonder why i knit! om.
